So I decided if I was to truly blog about this experience I should post some things I had written before I came.
Ever have one of those days where your heart is so completely full? No matter what emotion or feeling it is full of just that feeling that it couldn't expand any more. Today is one of those days. I'm stressed with classes and swamped with homework but yet my heart is light and full of longing. I long to be gone from here. I long to be in a far off land serving its people and loving them with every part of my being. I long to be doing what I have felt called to do for so long. I read a quote today....In a contagious world, we learn to keep our distance. If we get too close to those who are suffering we might get infected by their pain. It may not be convenient or comfortable. But only when you get close enough to catch their hurt will they be close enough to catch your love." - John Ortberg It couldn't explain the cry of my heart any better. I want to love those that no one else wants to love. I want to share Christ with those that feel forgotten. I want to make a difference in lives of people who feel so completely lost. I want to be living and doing ....However, right now as I look at the work load I have to tackle I feel like I will never get there. I start to question why I am here and what purpose this whole college life holds for me. Why can't I be in a far of land learning more about life and love than I could ever imagine. I mean what better teacher is out there than our Maker? I long to throw myself fully into his classroom of life and free fall into whatever that leads me too. However, there is still a part of me that feels compelled to be here as if there is something I have yet to learn. Something holds me in this place. So I stay and allow myself to grow daily and prepare for the road the Lord is setting before me. My longing grows but hopefully the more it grows so will my relationship with the Lord.