On the last Friday of the month we load all the kids up and take them into the city. However, it isn't for some fun day out it is for a scheduled family visit at the state facility. Today was one of those days and the entire trip into the city I was praying for the day that was to come. We have 3 sets of kids 5 brothers, 2 sisters, and then 2 sisters ans a brother. Out of the 3 families we never know just who will be there for the visitation. The mother and brother of the 5 boys is there faithfully every month and the mother of the 2 sisters is there off and on. However, the mother of the other 3 has never been there and will probably never come. Needless to say it isn't much more than a guessing game of who will show up. Well today we had the girls mom as well as the boys' mom and brother but as usual that was all. So for 2 hours our kids played and spent time with their families. Even though I had asked questions and prayed for what was ahead of us I hadn't realized how heart wrenching the day was going to be. Not only was it tough on the kids but it was tough for us adults. I stood and watch a mother who was no older than I savor every second with her 5 and 2 year old children. I watched my 5 boys be reunited yet again with a mother and brother whom they love so much. It just wasn't fair that because of bad decisions and the unfortunate hand that life has dealt them that these kids were being robbed of a normal life. That they came once a month to spend time with their "families" only to be pulled apart after 2 hours so they could return "home." I saw the affects it had on our kids. The pull the felt between wanting to be with their moms to wanting to be near us and the safety we provided. I had not been prepared for how hard it would be to watch them with mothers who wished they could have done better and kids who wished the same. As hard as the visit was nothing could compare to sitting in the back seat of the car watching a mother with tears in her eyes as Cindy and Marjuri reached there little hands out the window crying out for their mom. I know that they are better off with us but part of my heart broke for the mothers that so desperately wanted to spend more time with their children. I was reminded at how blessed I truly am. I was raised by two of the most amazing parents in the world. They instilled in me qualities that I could care with me for a lifetime. They loved me and protected me and always were there for me. I'm thankful for that but too often take if for granted. These kids are definitely blessed as far as being here. If they weren't here who knows where they would be. However, it is so sad to see them in such termoil over the pull of this life and the life they long for. I am split between selfishly hoping they never leave this place and a desire to see their families get things together so that they can take them back. For now I will be content to pray that God's will be done and that the kids can make it through each visit.