I am learning what it means to have a mothers heart. I now know the fear that grips your heart when you see one of your own get hurt. Today little Marjuri was washing her hands for lunch when she slipped and feel and busted her mouth on the sink. I didn't witness it happening but walked in moments later to see her in the arms of Carlos. Her mouth was open wide and she was doing a little raspy thing she does when she cries. She holds her breath for WAY too long before finally letting it out along with a long wail. As her mouth was hanging open I could see the blood filling up the tiny space between her tongue and the roof of her mouth. Fear gripped my heart in a new way as I found this little one being shoved into my arms. Without thinking I reacted and instantly did what I could to take control of the situation. It took awhile to get the bleeding to stop and even longer to convince her that it was OK to stop crying but eventually she was OK. However, it took a lot longer for my racing heart to return to normal and will be a long time still before that fear is completely erased. I have seen people get injured before and have suffered my own share of injuries. However, none of these compare to the fear one experiences when the one hurt is one you hold so close to your heart and whose well being rest in your hands. As I think of the fear and pain one bloody mouthed child can bring to my heart I think of the pain God must have felt to have to watch HIS son be injured and then killed upon the cross. I wouldn't have allowed anyone to harm little Marjuri and yet God stood back and allowed his son to be crucified because he loves US that much.
I also am learning the ways of a mothers heart as I have to punish these little ones here. There are times when their actions and stubborn nature drive me nuts. However, more times than not it pains me more than them when I have to punish them or reprimand them. Furthermore, I find myself struggling to reprimand them for doing something that I really want to be taking a picture of. For example, today the girls were playing with chalk on the side walk. They were told they could only write with it on the sidewalk and nowhere else. However, when I turned around they were drawing all over the slides and play area. OH and that isn't all...not only were they using their chalk on the slides but they were then putting their mouths on the surfaces they had just covered in a fine layer of chalk. So that when I called out to tell them no I could barely hear their excuses as I struggled to control my laughter. What a sight they were with those innocent eyes and their mouths so covered in chalk that they looked like a little girl who had found her mothers lipstick. If I wasn't afraid of sending the wrong signal I would have taken a picture that I would have cherished forever....because in that moment they were cuter than I thought possible.:)