Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Brian and Rudy

First let me apologize for the lack of blogging lately. Between heading home for two weeks and then making the trip back I’ve been incredibly busy. However, I promise to get back in the swing of things. SO…keep looking at my blog for new posts. As for this blog it will be chalk full of a story that still has the power to bring me to my knees. I was once again reminded of what an awesome God we serve. You all know the amazing God story about Brian and Rudy. So you also know that it has been WEEKS since that all went down and we have been anxiously waiting our chance to get them. Well Jen, Colby, Gina, and I went to the Judges office today to meet with the boys’ mother and…they are officially ours. We pick them up tomorrow! The next part of this story I’m stealing straight from Jen’s blog simply because I can’t do justice to what she must have been feeling. “Please know that I write these next words humbled to my knees because I don't deserve this, it is merely God's favor for reasons that I'll never know, but I got to meet their mother today. I watched this beautiful 29 year old woman walk in who has 6 children and lives a life of desperation but who was as warm and tender as anyone I've met. When she walked into the room and I told her my name was Jennifer she hugged the stuffin's out of me. Then with tears in her eyes, she said, you're HER. In the next several minutes she explained to me that for the last year her boys had been telling her about me and how I wanted to help them but she was scared and didn't know who I was or what they were talking about. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said if I would have known it was a children's home, I would have let them come a long time ago. We needed help. She told me that Brian asked her if she would give him a wallet so that he could keep the note that I gave him with my name and phone number on it because he didn't want to lose it. He kept walking around saying, isn't it pretty handwriting mom, isn't it pretty?! The judge told me that a children's home wanted Rudy and Brian to come live there, but I didn't know anything about the people. She said I wanted to come today and make sure that Casa de Esperanza was run by the person that my little boys fell in love with and when you told me your name was Jennifer I knew it was you. Ok so tears...yet again!! It's not that there's anything extraordinary about me, it's just that God gave me the opportunity to connect with these two little hearts and when I had no clue He was working and all seemed hopeless, there He was, preparing the way, being who He is, and allowing this flawed girl to somehow for some reason hold out hope for two little boys.” When the meeting was over we headed to the house that our new boys had once called home in an attempt to see where they come from. Honduras as a whole has been one of the most humbling experiences of my life. However, no matter what people say you never get used to it. You never get used to looking into the face of a hungry child. You never get used to seeing a house made of cardboard. Your never get used to seeing people hurt and dying all around you. I was reminded of this fact as I was once again humbled by the home that stood before me. Their home was tucked up against mountain …literally underneath the home of another person. They had a sheet for a door, one dresser, a mattress on the floor, and all of life’s possessions crammed into a 10x10 “house.” The mom has 6 children total and her eyes held the pain of a momma who was having to hand over two pieces of her heart. As she looked deep into Jen’s eyes and said “I wish there were some other way…” I felt part of my heart breaking for her. What would it feel like to love your child enough to know in your head that they would be better off without you and but have to work so hard to convince your heart of the same thing. So even as well will be bringing the boys home with us tomorrow there is part of me that wishes there were some other way. I wish that things could be different and that we could live in a world where situations like this didn’t have to exist.

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