Are We There Yet?

This past week I had the privilege of joining two of my guy friends on their adventure out west. Mike and Chris left (driving) June 9th to drive out west and back. They planned to hit as many stops as they could in their 21 day trip. Before they left it became a joke that I should come along....the joke expanded at some point to include my best friend Colby. (because they knew it was the only way to get me to come) Eventually they stopped trying to convince me to go the whole 21 days with them and began talking about Colbs and I flying out to meet them half way through. I'm not sure when the joking became serious or when I actually began considering it but before I knew it I had booked Colby and I tickets to fly to Fresno California to meet up with the boys. 

After meeting them in Fresno the four of us traveled to Sequoia National Park, Death Valley, Vegas, Zion National Park, The Grand Canyon, Four Corners, Canyonlands, Arches National Park, Denver, St. Louis, and lots of cities and things in between. 

It was an amazing trip.....I spent 10 days soaking in God's beauty. 

                                                        The group at the Grand Canyon

      Chris and I ..... tanning our money makers  

       My best friend and partner in crime :) She likes sonic, dinosaurs, bandanas, and taking pictures....of herself!  

Me & Mike (aka Mr. Tumnus/president of spanish club and the stubborn and annoying club) 

   Yep that's right.... we love OH - IO :) 

     Our home away from home and the Accord that served as transportation for the trip! 

"Pregnancy Pact"

Ever thought that it would be cool to be pregnant at the same time as your sister .....or maybe you have always wanted to raise kids with your best friend so that your kids can be best friends. I feel certain movies have been made with similar story lines and it is joked about often among young ladies. However, never in my life would I ever have even considered the idea of getting pregnant at the same time as my high school friends while I was in High School. Yet for 17 young ladies at Gloucester High School that is exactly what happened. 

Pact girls 'upset not pregnant'

At least 17 high-school students, many aged 16 and younger, are expecting babies after apparently making a "pregnancy pact" in the United States.

Officials in the Massachusetts city of Gloucester today said nearly half of those who became pregnant appear to have entered into a pact to have their babies together over the year.

"Some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Gloucester High School principal Joseph Sullivan told Time magazine, which broke news of the pact on its website.

A high school health clinic became suspicious after seeing a surge in girls seeking pregnancy tests.

Authorities are looking at whether to pursue statutory rape charges against some of the men involved. Some of them are aged in their mid-20s, including one man who appeared to be homeless. Others were boys in the school.

To read the rest of this story go to  http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/pact-girls-upset-not-pregnant/2008/06/20/1213770897442.html 

I sat eating with Colby today as that headline scrolled across the screen. I grabbed my laptop so I could read the entire story......and sat shocked and appalled at what I was reading.  As Colby and I continued discussing the story we both couldn't help but wonder what our world is coming to. I've heard of a lot of dumb ideas in my day.... but A PREGNANCY PACT! I mean REALLY?!? I am saddened to think of the children that will soon be born to those teens. Sadden to think that those little ones were conceived out of a selfish desire to have kids all together because it would be "fun" or "cool." Since when has teen age pregnancy been fun or cool? When I was in high school girls accidently got pregnant and as a result spent the next months being the talk of the school as their due date came closer and closer. I am left fighting the desire to want to find these girls. Half of me wants to shake some sense into them while my other half simply wants to wrap them up and heal whatever it is in their lives that left them in a position where this seemed liked a good idea. 

I mean where were the parents of these girls as they went so far as to seek out random homeless men to sleep with just to fulfill their desire to be pregnant? Furthermore, how have we come so far that schools are now having to decide if they want to legalize the distribution of contraceptives within their school buildings? Precious time and money are being spent on such debates and court cases because suddenly there is a need for such conversations. However, none of that is really solving the heart of the issue if girls are now WANTING and TRYING to get pregnant. How have we come so far.....and more importantly how do we fix it? 

Home

I am indeed still home. Due to the airport problems in Hondo I wasn't going to be able to fly back until July 1st. Since I was already planning to fly home again July 3rd for another wedding......I figured it would be best to just stay through the coming July wedding. In the mean time I'm enjoying the small things. This little guy above was chilling with his mommy beside the road as I drove by to go somewhere. It is what makes me love country living. :) 

Weddings:)

I had the privilege of spending this past weekend celebrating Ashley (my college roommate) and Adam's big day. It was a weekend of reflection as well as a weekend for looking ahead. We reminisced about the memories we had shared and dreamt of the future they would share. I have to admit that it was a fairly weepy weekend for me. (who's surprised) 

Cindy

Pray also for Cindy. She has fallen back into her habit of stealing. We aren't talking stealing every once in awhile...we are talking steals daily. (heck sometimes 6 or 7 times a day) She steals from kids at school or steals from home and sells the stuff to kids at school. Pray that we will know what to do with her. We are at our wits end and see no way of turning her around. Pray that she learns better before she gets any older.

Rudy

I ask that you continue to pray for Rudy. As you know he left a couple of months ago and returned to his mom's. Since then he has resorted back to working the streets of Teguc. He has been spotted numerous times and is always filthy dirty. Each time he has been invited to go eat something but he shys away....refusing to get close to the person who saw him. Within the past week his mom has begun calling Jen asking that we take him back. However, sadly enough it isn't that easy. So I beg that you pray for him. Pray that he learns to follow rules....someones rules. No matter if that means he lives with his mom, lives with us, or ends up in another home.

news.....

Have you ever woken up in the morning with a pit in your stomach like something just isn’t right? Then suddenly as you become fully awake the events of yesterday come rushing back and you remember exactly what caused the pit to be there in the first place.

The last few mornings have been like that for me.   May 30th, 2008 will go down as one of the worst days of my life. The events of that day will live with me forever. I woke Friday to gloom. The sky was filled with clouds, fog, and an eerie silence that screamed for you to pull the covers over your head and stay in bed until the dreadful day had passed. However, being “going home day” for me I jumped out of bed prepared for anything….or so I thought. After I got things with Izzy squared away and my bags were finally loaded in the suburban Jen and some of the Tennessee group piled in with 8 of our kiddos. The plan was to drop me off at the airport then head out to eat with the kiddos. When we got about 10 minutes away from the airport Nicole Tindall called to let us know that a Taca plane had missed the run way and had crashed in the middle of Honduras’s capital city. (for more on that story go to http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5j830-0ZlHLNghGjjOB5NFKla9iKQD9104CTO0) I was immediately sick for the families of those that would have died in the crash. Then with a sinking sadness I realized that would surely mean I was not to fly home that day.

However, I would soon realize that God had a reason for keeping me in the country. Only minutes later Karen called to tell us that she had received a call reporting that the mom of the 5 brothers (Yovani, Marvin, Mario, Francisco, and little Antonio) had won custody of them again. We were to have them at the state orphanage by 2 so the mom and dad could take them home. So with very little warning or time to prepare we were expected to hand back over these boys who had nestled a place deep within our hearts. Set on savoring our last few moments with them we went to Church’s Chicken to eat and then Baskin Robbins for ice cream. Somewhere in the midst of that we managed to explain to the boys that they would be going “home” later that same day. The fact was met by a wide spectrum of emotion. Tears were shed, joy was expressed, and confusion set in. By the time 2:00 rolled around I felt certain I had never cried so much in my entire life.  We relished our last moments with our boys while we waited on the mom.

 When she finally arrived whoever was holding Antonio put him down and encouraged him to go to his “mom.” With the biggest smile he turned and ran to the suburban. Then with arms raised up to me he climbed up onto my lap as if to say “ok I’m with my mom….what now.” Suppressing a sob I held him close for a second before explaining he needed to go to “mommy Maria.” To which he responded with a sound no thanks I’m good right where I’m at.  If there was any part of me that had yet to break that moment did it for me. Antonio left his parents when he was 6 months old. We are literally the only “mommas” he has ever known. Knowing I had to let him go I allowed someone to take him to Maria. Then I did one of the hardest things of my entire 22 years…….I said goodbye to 5 little boys  who at some point in the last 18 months had stolen my heart. Then I hid my head in Jen’s shoulder and cried my heart out. With no other words to explain it I can honestly tell you that the moment the walked away something inside of me died. I felt as though I was drowning. Nothing made sense anymore and suddenly life felt ever so lonely. For those of you that are mommas imagine the hospital calling, after you’ve had your baby for a 18 months, and telling you they made a mistake with you baby and would be sending someone that day to get your child. The child that you have poured everything into for the past year and a half. The child that they are now telling you isn’t really yours but that your heart loved like your own from the first moment you met him/her. That is how I felt…times 5. It felt like a sick joke.

When we finally got home that night I wandered into the boys’ room, curled up in Yovani’s bed, and mourned like a momma who had just come from her babies funeral. It felt much like that for all of us. It was as though they were gone from our lives forever……and essentially they are. While no words could every truly explain the feeling within me right now ……I know there are some of you who are mourning this loss along side of me. I wish I could be with each of you right now to wrap my arms around your neck and squeeze. For now I will continue to lift all of your hearts up to the one who is holding you close. Please pray for our boys as they learn to adjust back to life with their parents. Pray that this momma heart of mine will find the strength to return to Hondo after my short break at home.