Thursday, November 17, 2011

Job

I am back home in Ohio. The family I was working for in Virginia Beach had gotten out of the Navy and moved to North Carolina and with Kris and I becoming increasingly serious I figured it was the perfect time to transition home. As Hurricane Irene’s path seemed headed right for Virginia Beach I decided to expedite my moving process and left before she hit.
I had interviewed at a non-profit ministry and for an office job at a factory near home. I hadn't heard back from either job and was felt very anxious as I drove home to a lot of unknowns. I knew that my heart was being pulled toward taking the ministry job but I'd get paid more than twice as much if I took the factory job....and the factory job provided benefits. So as I waited to hear back from each job my prayer became that God would make one a no and the other a yes. I was begging for the easy way out on this one. :)
As it turns out the ministry called me back first to tell me I had gotten the job if I wanted it. I still hadn't heard back from the factory but decided to take a leap of faith and took the ministry job. The very next day I got a letter in the mail saying I hadn't gotten the factory job! So God was willing to confirm that I had made the right choice but He wanted me to have to walk in faith through it and CHOOSE to trust in Him.
I started at the job just over 2 months ago and I LOVE it. I'm working at a Teen home called the House of Hope. We are a residential program for troubled teens. We provide teenagers, ages 13-17, with a Christ-centered education program, supplemented with Christian counseling, administered in a loving, home-style environment to reconcile and restore teens and their families.
It is the PERFECT job for me and a true answer to prayer. Years ago when God knit together all of my qualities to make me who I am today He put in me a heart for ministry. The last 7 years away from home have been a journey for sure but God saw it fit to allow me to come home again. In the deepest places of my heart I’ve always dreamed of being able to do ministry in Morgan County but I believed I’d never be able to get a paid ministry position around this area. I should have known that God would see the deepest desires of my heart and make them come true.
If you want to know more about what I’m doing you can check out the blog at hohco.wordpress.com. I will warn you... I just created the blog so it is far from done! I'm getting paid to blog though...how cool is that! :)
Thank you all for your loving support and prayers that have carried me through these past few years!
In His Amazing Love,

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Married




10 days ago I married my best friend. As cliche as it sounds it is true. Kris and I have been friends for over a decade. We first became friends during my freshman year of high school when he sat behind me in Spanish class. Since then our friendship has stood the test of time. Through graduation, college, me moving to Honduras and then Virginia Beach, boyfriends and girlfriends, and so much more. Through it all he remained one of my closest friends.

Then about a year ago I flew back to Ohio to go to a wedding with him. Kris was in the wedding and had to be there all weekend. Since the wedding was near Salt Fork State Park (2 hours from our home) we decided rent a cabin for the weekend to minimize driving back and forth. As I flew to Ohio I had no idea what to expect from the weekend. I didn't know that Kris had feelings for me and I certainly didn't expect him to show up at the airport with flowers and Starbucks! When we got to the cabin he proceeded to pull out a Christmas tree, Christmas movies, my favorite candy, hot coco, and many of my other holiday favorites. I LOVE Christmas. Throughout the weekend Kris made no attempt to share his feelings but I could tell that something was changing.

Fast forward 10 months....Kris proposed to me just 3 days after my 26th birthday. We had plans to meet at his house to eat dinner and watch t.v. together. I had been in Zanesville for the day with my mom and was running late. I text him to tell him to go ahead and eat but I'd be there before our shows started. I got there an hour later and he wasn't there....nor had I heard from him all day. I began texting and calling nearly every hour but he never responded. Finally at a little after 10 p.m. (over 5 hours after he usually gets home) there was a knock at the door. I went to answer... certain that it was going to be the police telling me he'd been in an accident. I opened the door to find him down on one knee with the ring in hand. He started saying all this sweet stuff while I stood there with my mouth open. When he finished talking I still didn't respond and he finally was like "I think you are supposed to say something now." To which I responded "where have you been!?!?!" I finally gave him an answer and got the ring on my finger. :)

Now fast forward 6 weeks: November 5th 2011 Kris and I became husband and wife! People thought we were crazy to do such a short engagement but we wanted to get married at Burr Oak Lodge and they had announced that they would be closing their doors in January. They only had a couple of dates for us to choose from. Both dates were in November so we just made it work! :) The wedding was PERFECT! The weather was beautiful. The lodge and the decorations were gorgeous. It was the perfect day. I had said since the day we got engaged that there were going to be leaves on the trees for our wedding. I'd always wanted a fall wedding and I prayed every day for leaves. People kept telling me to not get my hopes up....that there are NEVER leaves on the trees in November. None the less when I woke up November 5th it was 60 degrees outside and there were lots of leaves left. God does answer prayers...and even performs miracles when we believe! God provided just enough rain and warm weather to keep the leaves from dying too early! What an amazing God we serve.

So I've officially been married for 10 days. Aside from some minor arguments on decorating things have been wonderful! He has lived in his house for 6 years now and the decorations have been the same since day one so me changing that is rocking his little world! However, I refuse to live in a house where pop cans from a superbowl year, old antique looking oil cans, and old ripped pillows are the decor! I keep telling him I'm not living in a bachelor pad! :)

We've been looking at buying a house. I think if we get that house it'll be different. It'll be a brand new place for both of us and we can make it OURS. The lake house has been HIS for so long it's hard for him to change. So for now I've tried to back off and just make little changes at a time.

I'm excited to watch what God has in store for us. I never thought I'd be married to this man...yet here I am! God's timing and perfect plan for our lives never ceases to amaze me.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

4 months

It's been over 4 months since my last blog. Now I know that I was far from blogging daily like I had planned but before July I was doing a decent job at being consistent in blogging a few times a month.....then Izzy died.

I shut down. I was hurting. I was frustrated by my friends/families response to her death. I felt like the people that love me most...the people who have always loved me best.....didn't even know how to comfort me. I was angry and frustrated that they couldn't help ease my pain. I was maddened by the fact that no one seemed to understand my loss.

The truth of the matter is people continued to love and support me in the ways they knew how. They supported me and did their best to comfort me.....there just was no "right" way. There wasn't enough comfort in this world to carry me through what I was experiencing. And while I got frustrated with my family and friends for not having the answers I forgot to turn to the one who did have the answers. I forgot to let God be my source of comfort. He is the only one who can or will ever truly know the anguish I experienced.

My situation was unique. It wasn't just a mother losing her daughter. It was more than that. And with the loss came a lot of extra pain as I felt like I had to fight for the world to acknowledge the loss as just that: a mother losing a daughter.

I still miss her with every passing day. In a lot of ways I'm dreading returning to Honduras because this will be the first time I've gone KNOWING she wouldn't be there waiting on me.

To all of you who experienced my frustration or rage these past months as I coped with my grief: I am sorry. You didn't fail me in any way. Thank you for loving me through this.

I miss you sweet Isabel. Mommy loves you.