Monday, March 3, 2008

Being Momma

I'm learning that life looks much different when you stand on the other side of the fence. In this case stepping from being the daughter (child) to being the momma looks WAY different. I'm now the one expected to fix the problems instead of the one that gets to create them. I'm the one who is supposed to have all the answers instead of ask them. It is my turn to heal hurts, pray away demons, worry non-stop, and love unconditionally. My all nighters are now caused by bad dreams that leave children up crying most of the night, high fevers and sickness that make my heart race, paper writing in the night because I spent all day with the kids, and so on. However, it is funny to watch how much it literally seems like I have stepped to the other side. I seriously think my parents prayed that I would some day have a child or children that were exactly like I was so I could experience what I put them through. Let me tell you ..their prayers came through. I now have 15 of them! Strong willed, sneaky, stubborn, short tempered, disrespectful...the works. However, above and beyond that I'm getting to be for my kids what my parents were for me.

I sat rubbing Mario's leg the other night as he cried for an hour because of a leg ache. The entire time I sat remembering hundreds of times when my dad would warm a towel and wrap my leg in it. I remembered times when we were out and about when I would get one and he would carry me until we got home. I remembered sitting on Grandma's lap as she rubbed away the pain. I remembered curling up in mom's arms as I sobbed from the pain. I was not only able to relate to the pain Mario was feeling but also was finally able to stand beside my parents and know exactly how it felt to watch your little one wiggly, moan, and simply wail in pain.

The next day I stood with Daniela playing the why game. You know the one I'm talking about....I was busy doing something and she walked up to find out what I was doing. Hearing my answer she proceeded to ask why.... then as I answered why I was doing it she asked "why"....and so on. (You get the picture) Oh heavens if I had a dime for every time one of these kiddos asked me "why" I'd be able to live a life in the mission field without ever having to fundraise! ....or I could give it to my parents for every time I asked that same question.

I could go on all day with just how much they remind me of me....but for now I feel certain you are all chuckling as you watch me finally "get whats coming to me!" :) Thanks a lot!

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